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As any therapist will tell you, so is the human heart and all its hurts. And, just as in days of old, men throw money as an offering of gratitude and worship. Old pains will be triggered and fury, regret, revenge and fear will express itself in pounding fists and wild words, biting teeth and thrashing. It gives us the mojo to do anything at all, really.
My guess is that she has had disappointing experiences with a man around this issue in the past, which is why it hangs as such a red flag in her vision. Masculine sexuality is pre-programmed to be allured to variety and to youth. That said, there remains lots of porn that makes so many women rightfully queasy, and I believe that men need to be sensitive to this.
As Jung said, that which gets repressed, will be expressed. In the absence of that victory, a strip club or a porn video will provide the rush of endorphins and serotonin that makes him feel a bit better about himself for a while. That is a male fantasy by the way. And we are each stumbling our way toward self-understanding.
Freedom is neither pure nor purely good. But as any theater-goer will attest, so is Shakespeare. Stick with positive messaging. Be nuanced, sensitive, varied, exploratory, rigorously clear, playful, true, fiercely honest. Repressed joy will express as demonic screams escaping from hidden cells.
Within the context of intimacy, clear, mutually-agreed upon boundaries on actions actually promotes a whole new realm of freedom. Which I celebrate, rather than excoriate. As any art lover will tell you, so is Picasso.
What feels titillating to men will often seem terrifying to women on a visceral level, often calling up memories of abuse or experience of deep unsafety. It is dazzling and shocking.
As any pundit will tell you, so is politics. It is as varied as our full range of emotional reality. You can learn everything about a person by asking them to describe themselves and then simply reversing the list. Yes, men are more visual than women when it comes to sexuality.
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